Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tire Tread CSI

So I just got done watching the most bogus news/CSI show ever. I guess, since I live in America where murders are all too common and there's about 500 cop/CSI/detective shows on every channel, I was a bit crestfallen to see Japan's equivalent. Not that I'm saying this is a bad thing, because I'm rather glad I'm in a country with almost no crime. But seriously.

So here's the set up of the show (a real show, btw, not a drama). There are these cops in Kyoto and they're traffic accident experts. No, not CSIs. They don't test angles of blood splatter on walls, they scour asphalt for a drop. They don't crawl along carpets lookint for hair follicles, they crawl along the ground with a magnifying glass looking for a shard of glass in a crack somewhere. So here was tonight's big case:

It's the middle of the night. It's dark under an overpass. A white car sits at a light. The light turns and the car accelerates, heading under the overpass. A biker, chancing his luck, pedals across the 4 lanes of traffic, not at the crosswalk, in a bid to beat the car. He doesn't. The white car smashes into him just before he makes the other side. He goes flying. He rolls. One leg is extended into the other lane. A dark colored car comes by and runs over the aforementioned leg, breaking it. The car doesn't stop, but goes on. Back to real time, the detectives are on the case. They're in search of... no, not the white car's driver, but the driver of the other car, the one who broke the guy's leg. Never mind that lots of other bones in his body are broken due to becoming one with a car's windshield. No, the leg's the thing.

The show progresses for another 25-30 min. while the cops run over a dummy leg and see what the tire tracks look like. They spend countless hours watching surveillance cameras from every place in the area. They figure out it's a red car. Eventually they figure out what kind. There are 124 of those cars in Kyoto. They then spend 2 months poking around said car types while the owners aren't looking until they find one... no, not with blood stains, no, not with a bent bumper, with some dust brushed off two spots on the undercarriage. They proceed to say, "Oh, that's it, there can be no mistake." This would never stand up in an American court. Clean spots on an undercarriage? Suspicious? I guess so.

Then, they go to the 20 yr old guy's house. His mom answers the door, but naturally, he's not there. No, he hasn't run away. He hasn't fled the law. He's working at his part time job as a waiter. Do they wait for him to get home? After all, they've been looking for over 2 months and he hasn't run away yet. No, they don't wait. They beat it to his workplace and bust in like they're holding a sting operation, shovel him into the car and handcuff him. For running over a dude's leg. I'm sorry, maybe I'm insensitive, but really? I'd think the biker had other things on his mind while he was lying on the pavement. And really, two months worth of tax payers' dollars for this. For real.

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